Real Friends Vs Acquaintances

My mother used to tell me that when you look back on your life, if you can count the number of true friends you have on one hand, then you are blessed indeed...

I didn't get it at the time. I was the type who wanted to be everybody's friend. The terms "bad," "loser," "user," and most important "acquaintance," hadn't even entered my mind yet. I hadn't lived enough yet. I hadn't been kicked in the back enough yet. The world was rosy and I saw it through rose-colored glasses back then.
Lately, however, I've started to see what she meant. I believe I'm finally learning the difference between "Friend" and "Acquaintence." Here are a few differences I've noticed or may be rather realised.

"Friends" don't have a schedule for you to go by. They make time for you, even if it's just five minutes. Acquaintences give you a schedule, expect you to follow it and MIGHT be around when you need them. Then again, they might not. All depends on where they are in their individual minds.

"Friends" include you in their lives. You don't have to ask. You don't have to invade. The standing invitation is there. "Acquaintances" often make plans behind your back. You don't find out until later that they had a party, they saw you in the mall but were "busy" Sometimes, you even read about it. Strangers on their my space pages, blogs and fourms find out before you do.. Sad, but true.

"Friends" know what initiative is. You don't have to call them. There is no cat and mouse game. If they think of you, they call you. Likewise, if you think of them, you call them. without any notice..

Friends" are there in the sunshine and also when it rains. When you hurt, they hurt. When you celebrate, they are right there with you. "Acquaintances" have to check their datebook. They have to clear their schedules. And, occasionally, you MIGHT get lucky. Don't hold your breath though...

Finally, "Friends" take you as you are. They may disagree with some of it (me and my real true friends Jhonson,Blessy,(Dhrishti*) are always debating issues and it’s a lot of fun) but they love you just the same. You don't have to pretend for them. You don't have to change for them. And, if you decide to change on your own, you don't have to explain yourself to them. That is the value of a friend. ( I really dnt know how to thank them for bearing me soooooooo much.. hehehe..)

Unfortunately, in the fast-paced world we live in, I have very few friends and many acquaintances. Acquaintances whom I thought were friends. Then, I found out different. The phone calls decreased. The visits fizzled. And I am left with pictures and memories of a friendship that once burned so brightly. Now, it is just an ember. An after image of my glory days.
So, I begin a quest to make new friends. Hopefully, its the real thing this time and not just the illusion of it. After all, life is short and when the time comes and people look at your tombstone, it's the dash between the two dates that make all the difference. And i really don't want to waste another minute... Right?

Growing Up...

Why does it seem that everyone around you has grown up while you happen to be the eternally same soul? When you look down deep within yourself, you would realise as to how much you have changed. There is nothing permanent in life but change. This is very much true even amongst the dearest of friends. People who know one for eternity or know someone to the "T" would be more than surprised with the changes in someone.

I guess I need to write more on what I mean by growing up. As we grow up, we meet more and more new people, who definitely influence us. We become relatively more "mature" and world-conscious. And, yet, as adults, we seemingly begin to lose the inherent quality of a child - to ask and be curious about everything. "Life has become boring" is a complaint amongst many of us. It has become boring because we have made it so.

Anyway, getting back to the original topic of discussion, people change. So, how would it be to meet the people of the past? People whom you knew so well, and who knew you well too. Would it be plain joy or would there be apprehension too. Would each one understand the other again, now that both have changed a lot. What makes it all the more interesting is that each thinks that only the other has changed. I guess with mere acquaintances it doesn't really matter much. We would be happy to have met them. Period. Ironically, it is with the important people or the people in our circle of life that the many questions arise.

Lastly, why do so many people come into our lives?

The Lonely Crusader...!!!

We are all alone in this journey called life, seeking answers to our very own questions. At times the questions themselves change. However, the answers are never the same at any point of time. Every person's experiences are unique and each face has a story to tell worthy of respect. No matter what the connectivity is between two souls, it is indeed difficult to share happiness and pain of a person. No one can truly share both of them. A harsh statement but perfectly true in almost every sense.

Important people at times cause hurt in our lives because of this very expectation from them - that they can and should share our happiness and pain. Deep down, that expectation is there. It is best not to expect anything from anyone; no matter how special or important they might be in our lives. I suppose this approach would work out the healthiest in all relationships - be it between mother and son, father and daughter, sister and brother, friend and a friend, soulmates(?), husband and wife, and what not.

Solitude becomes the most cherished, and yet painful possession for all of us. Yes, we are all alone! Our experiences are limited and what the important people in our lives can do for us is also limited. The same holds for what we can do for them. However, the joy of living is a blessing, and it is our foremost and the most important reason for existence. This is not being selfish. If we are happy, people in our lives are also happy.